We’re kickin’ things off here with a Halloween candy classic: The tootsie roll. If you like a tootsie roll, you love nostalgia. You don’t love change, but you do long for adventure. That’s why you are Fantasticland by Mike Bockoven. You long for the thrill you got from theme parks as a kid, even though you haven’t felt it in a long time. You want the classic roller coasters and you don’t need any of those new modern rides with any of that virtual crap. As far as the horror in this book goes, it fits with your hatred of change because the conflicts in this book are classic. Person vs. Person. vs. Weather vs. Person. The thing that will give you the thrill you desire is the format of this book is it’s interview style format. It’s classic horror conflict with neat twists that will keep you on the edge of your seat and will keep you questioning exactly how far humanity will go to survive.
Next up, we have any kind of chocolate that is plain milk chocolate and not Hershey’s brand. You love the classic things in life but you refuse to try anything new because you have all you need already. You don’t just dislike change, you outright reject it. You might call yourself “fancy” unironically, but you’re still eating sugar and cocoa powder, just like the rest of us. That’s why you are IT by Stephen King. Just like chocolate, no one is denying that King is amazing. But while everyone else is willing to venture out and try other things on for size, you settled down in your tunnel vision for King and for this chocolate. You might sneer at anyone who eats Hershey’s, just like you might sneer at someone for reading Koontz. But they’re both horror and they’re both chocolate and they both have their audience.
If you like candy corn you are, without a doubt, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. There are naysayers out there that tell you there are better things other than candy corn, sure. But you know what you like and you stick with it. You know how halloween candy started and you love paying homage to the numero uno. You probably reread Frankenstein every year and will die on the hill that Mary Shelley invented science fiction horror (as you should). You might be a little over zealous in your love for your choice of candy and book, but every one respects the heck out of you for staying loyal.
You like M&M’s? You appreciate the time and effort that people put into things. You are probably great at studying and you have the strongest will power of anyone you know. That makes you The Hunger by Alma Katsu. You like to take your time and you probably will reread pages that were just written so well that you needed a second look. Katsu puts a mad amount of research into her books and you respect that. You probably want to read things in a single sitting, but since you also don’t want things to be over too quickly, you probably limit yourself to one chapter per day.
If your candy choice is Dots, you probably play with your food. You might have a weird vat of knowledge in your brain that people look at you weird for talking about at parties. You are definitely any and all true crime books. You like to learn new things, but not anything that will have a practical application in your life. You probably know way more about Ted Bundy than you should. Movies? Never heard of her, you watch the FBI files or nothing at all. You are also extremely pleased at all of the true crime documentaries that Netflix has made over the last few years.
If your treat of choice is a Reese’s Cup, you love classics with a twist. You like being left yearning for more and you might be just a little nutty. That makes you A Head Full of Ghosts by Paul Tremblay. You love the good old days of Hitchcock. When the threat of the monster under the bed was always there, but you never actually saw it sneer its ugly head. You like being able to make decisions for yourself and you are fiercely independent. It’s also likely that you have killer musical taste.
If you are a twizzler person, you cry at commercials. You love rom coms and just want everyone to be happy and to be BFF’s forever. That’s why you are A Cosmology of Monsters by Shaun Hamill. Like you, this book gets EMOTIONAL. You definitely have a crying spot. You are self aware enough to know that people are garbage, but you are just idealistic enough to wish that people would just get along with each other. You are perfect for this book because while you are sitting there (probably crying) and feeling your feelings, you know that some of the tragedies in the book are realistic.
If you dig Skittles, you definitely have a huge and active imagination. You love to daydream and talk about wild scenarios with your friends. You are perfect for The Ballad of Black Tom by Victor Lavalle and it’s cosmic horror elements. You appreciate brutal honesty and you are likely the wild card of your friend group. You would love the protagonist in this book and the adventure that he takes you on. You likely get told that you zone out a lot.
Milky Way your choice? You love to try new things. You appreciate well crafted products and you are probably quiet but always listening. You love to see attention to detail and it’s likely that you say film instead of movie, but not in a stuck up way. You probably get lost in your hobbies and you like to do things that are meaningful. You would never get a tattoo just for fun, it has to have a deep meaning behind it. That’s why you are Of Foster Homes and Flies by Chad Lutzke. This book is deep and personal and full of emotion, just like you. Your friends have probably said that, when they can get you to talk a lot, you have deep meaningful conversations.
If you love apples on Halloween, then you are The Silence of the Lambs by Thomas Harris. We get it, you make better choices than us and you probably have better taste than us. You have good taste and you make good life decisions but stop making us feel bad for liking sugar and vampire smut. You are 100% the person we all go to for advice.
Don’t see your favorite candy? Tweet at me at @pageandparlor and I'll let you know.