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The Horror Horoscope: Mercury is Always in Retrograde

Matt and Richelle back again with another Horror Book Horoscope. A Horrorscope, if you will. We are not astrologers, although Matt did look at the Jupiter/Saturn convergence for a few minutes. We are only doing this for fun and picking horror books that may fit your sign based on the traits given by the internet gods. Please don’t take us seriously. We do think these books are good though! 

Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) ♈️ 

Aries are said to be courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, and passionate. Things the internet says they love to do are hiking, spots, being physically active and binge watching TV shows. Now with this info this is the book we have picked for you. 

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20) ♉️ 

Oh my gosh where to start here. Taurus is my sign (Richelle) and the things listed are pretty much on point such as reliable, stable, practical, and devoted but also hardheaded and possessive. Things this sign likes to do are cooking, golfing (wait what? I don’t like golf. ) photography and knitting. 

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20) ♊️ 

Gemini’s are said to have split personalities. (Is that true?) They are fun, quick witted, social butterflies and have a variety of hobbies. They love to read, solve puzzles and learn new things for fun. 

Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22) ♋️ 

For cancers, it says they are tenacious, highly imaginative, sympathetic and persuasive. They love to sail, boat, fish and collect art. Hmmm, maybe a sea monster book for y’all! 

Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22) ♌️ 

Leo’s are said to be creative, passionate, warm-hearted, humorous and generous. They love to write, sing, drama, theater, going out to eat and partying with friends. 

Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22) ♍️ 

Virgos are analytical, loyal, kind, hardworking, and practical. They are usually all work and no play. Their hobbies are working with their hands, crafts, chasing dreams, and anything to do with computers. We imagine Joe Crawford would be a Leo. 

Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22) ♎️ 

The traits listed for this sign are diplomatic, fair- minded, and social. They dislike violence and injustice. So we thought of this book. This is my sign (Matt). There’s a lot of violence in this book but there’s also a ton of justice. 

Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21) ♏️ 

They are resourceful, brave, passionate, brave, and true friends. Their hobbies are said to be playing card games, hiking, kickboxing, treasure hunting, and reading mystery novels. 

Sagitarrius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) ♐️ 

Sagittarius are said to be generous, idealistic with a great sense of humor. They rely on instinct and intuition. They are also a bottomless pit on knowledge and can survive almost anything. They love to learn new languages, travel and care for animals. 


Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19) ♑️ 

They are responsible, disciplined, self control and good managers. They love to relax, gardening and reading. They also like going to museums and doing puzzles. 

Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18) ♒️ 

Intelligent, inventive, humanistic, friendly, altruistic, sociable, and reformative. They may like volunteering, collecting old things, home decorating, reading, and doing outdoor stuff.


Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20) ♓️ 

Pisces are known to be the gentlest souls of the zodiac. True to their symbol, most of the Pisces individuals are found to enjoy water related sports and activities. Their list of hobbies involve reading, dancing, fishing, water sports, cooking, collecting furniture or dishware.


I am a huge horror advocate who loves to walk the line of fear by chasing ghosts and touching spiders. I  am also chasing the dream of being a full-time horror reviewer. 

Matt @teamredmon uses this email:

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